> LOADING PROGRAMMER ARTIFACT DATA...
> SCAN COMPLETE
> CODING HUMOR PROTOCOLS: ACTIVE

ITEM CLASSIFICATION: Premium Programmer Logic T-Shirt (Black Edition)
HUMOR PROTOCOL: JavaScript conditional friendship algorithm
COMPATIBILITY: Developers, coders, and tech-savvy humans
COLOR MODE: Black variant (stealth programming edition)
LOGIC STATUS: Friend detection subroutines embedded

EMBEDDED CODE SEQUENCE:
let Person = "name";
if (Person === "friend") {
  BuyPersonHDMICable();
} else if (Person === "boss") {
  console.log("Yes sir & gets coffee");
} else {
  console.log("Ignore person, I got shit to code");
}

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS:
• Material Composition: 80% combed ring-spun cotton, 20% polyester
• Fabric Weight: Medium-heavy (8.25 oz/yd² density matrix)
• Construction: Double-stitched durability protocols
• Fit Algorithm: Regular (true-to-size calculations)
• Label Status: Tear-away (comfort enhancement)
• Size Range: S-3XL (accommodates all programmer variants)
• Color Options: Multiple variants available
• Shipping Protocol: FREE (USA territories)
• Customization Subroutines: Available for business branding

DEPLOYMENT SCENARIOS:
• Daily coding session attire
• Developer meetup infiltration missions
• Office casual Friday operations
• Tech conference networking events
• Coffee shop programming expeditions

PROGRAMMER LOGIC FEATURES:
• Friend identification algorithms
• Boss appeasement protocols
• Stranger avoidance subroutines
• HDMI cable purchasing triggers
• Coffee acquisition commands

WARNING: May cause spontaneous code reviews, increased understanding from fellow developers, and automatic friend requests from other programmers.

ERROR 404: Non-programmers may not understand. Debugging social interactions required.

> CODE COMPILATION: SUCCESSFUL
> PROGRAMMER HUMOR: DEPLOYED
> END TRANSMISSION
> READY FOR CODING SESSION