> SCANNING WELLNESS DATABASE...
> ERROR 404: SELF-CARE PROTOCOLS NOT FOUND
> LOADING OVERWORKED HUMAN DATA...
> SCAN COMPLETE

ITEM CLASSIFICATION: Victorian Inventor Self-Neglect Declaration Module
HUMOR PROTOCOL: "Self-Care Never Heard of Her" - When maintenance schedules are optional
COMPATIBILITY: Overworked humans navigating copper-pipe maze of existence
VISUAL STATUS: Stressed-out cat in bathrobe (peak self-care failure visualization)
ARCHIVE STATUS: Unearthed from brilliant but overworked Victorian inventor's effects

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS:
• Material Composition: Specially spun fibers (strong fabric printing optimization)
• Construction: One-piece knit (no side seam interruptions)
• Collar System: Ribbed knit (shape retention protocols active)
• Stability Enhancement: Shoulder tape garment stabilization
• Safety Certification: Oeko-Tex verified (quality assurance confirmed)
• Print Surface: Steam-pressed declaration with brass-embossed lettering
• Size Range: Universal compatibility for all overworked humans
• Shipping Protocol: FREE (USA territories)
• Customization Subroutines: Available for business branding

OPERATIONAL FEATURES:
• Sarcasm Engine: Fully Optimized
• Relatability Circuits: Maximum Output
• Comfort Mechanisms: Premium Grade
• Reality Check: Brutally Honest
• Warning Beacon: Self-neglect alert system
• Badge of Honor: Overwork recognition protocols

DEPLOYMENT SCENARIOS:
• Life engineering operations (while ignoring personal maintenance)
• Tomorrow's contraption building missions
• Everyone else's machinery repair protocols
• Copper-pipe maze navigation expeditions
• Gear-oiling avoidance campaigns
• Stressed-cat solidarity exhibitions

SELF-NEGLECT MATRIX:
• Personal Maintenance: DISABLED
• Others' Problems: PRIORITY OVERRIDE
• Self-Care Awareness: ERROR 404
• Bathrobe Cat Stress Level: MAXIMUM
• Victorian Work Ethic: ENGAGED

MAINTENANCE PROTOCOLS:
• Wash Cycle: Cold water only (max 30°C/90°F)
• Dry Setting: Low heat tumble
• Iron Status: DISABLED
• Bleach: Non-chlorine variants only
• Dry Clean: NOT RECOMMENDED

WARNING: May cause increased awareness of personal neglect, spontaneous self-care guilt, identification with stressed bathrobe cats, and attraction of fellow overworked life engineers.

ERROR 404: Self-care protocols still not found. Stressed cat solidarity engaged.

> SELF-NEGLECT: CONFIRMED
> BATHROBE CAT: STRESSED
> SARCASM ENGINE: MAXIMUM
> END TRANSMISSION
> READY FOR OVERWORK DEPLOYMENT