> LOADING CANINE SUPERIORITY DATA...
> SCAN COMPLETE
> DOG PARENT DELUSION PROTOCOLS: ACTIVE

ITEM CLASSIFICATION: Canine Supremacy Declaration Tee
CONFIDENCE LEVEL: Dog parent (maximum delusion achieved)
VISUAL STATUS: Ugly dog specimen (rat-on-crack aesthetic confirmed)
ARGUMENT ACCEPTANCE: DISABLED (no evidence required)
DELUSION MODE: Pure, unfiltered dog parent bias engaged

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS:
• Material Composition: Ethically sourced US cotton (specially spun fibers)
• Durability Matrix: Enhanced fiber spinning for couch-destruction resistance
• Collar System: Ribbed knit (shape retention protocols active)
• Stability Enhancement: Shoulder tape reinforcement engaged
• Fit Algorithm: Classic relaxed (optimal dog park deployment)
• Size Range: Unisex compatibility across all delusional dog parents
• Shipping Protocol: FREE (USA territories)
• Customization Subroutines: Available for business branding

DEPLOYMENT SCENARIOS:
• Walking your 'obviously superior' four-legged chaos agent
• Dog park canine dominance assertion missions
• Meeting inferior pet parents (reality denial operations)
• Professional dog hype person duties
• Couch destruction supervision protocols

CANINE SUPERIORITY FEATURES:
• Bold statement broadcasting capability
• Objective cuteness declaration (evidence-free)
• Four-legged chaos agent support system
• Unfiltered dog parent delusion amplification
• Ugly-dog-that-looks-like-rat-on-crack visualization

SIDE EFFECTS MATRIX:
• Increased compliments directed at your dog
• Jealous stares from inferior pet parents
• Enhanced dog park confidence levels
• Spontaneous hype person activation
• Reality distortion field generation

MAINTENANCE PROTOCOLS:
• Wash Cycle: Warm water (max 40°C/105°F)
• Dry Setting: Medium heat tumble
• Bleach: Non-chlorine variants only
• Iron Status: DISABLED
• Dry Clean: NOT RECOMMENDED

WARNING: May cause uncontrollable dog parent pride, spontaneous arguments about pet superiority, and complete inability to acknowledge your dog's obvious flaws.

ERROR 404: Cuter dogs not found. Your dog is objectively superior.

> CANINE SUPREMACY: CONFIRMED
> DELUSION LEVELS: MAXIMUM
> UGLY DOG PRIDE: ACTIVATED
> END TRANSMISSION
> READY FOR DOG PARK DEPLOYMENT